so behind

i’m behind.

school: i have been missing a lot of school because i keep on getting sick. i am slowly but surly getting behind in most of my core classes. this is due to me missing 3 core class days in a row. not very smart. but now i am behind. i have got to stop getting sick. yes that will fix everything. if only that were true. i hate being behind. it makes me feel stupid when i dont know what is going on. i like being the one with the answers and in these classes that isnt possible. i am the one who is staring at the teacher not knowing anything about what she is saying. i dont like feeling this way. i thought not having a job would cause me to have more time to do my school work. wrong. i am acually doing worse without a job.

 college: everyone knows what they are doing college wise. i have no idea. i havnt taken the ACT and gotten a good enough score to get in anywhere. i have not found a school i like at all. i am terrified to try and look because i dont know if i will find something. what if i end up staying home next year while all my friends go off to school. oh my gosh that would be horrible. i have got to get going on this stuff.

comunity service: apparently we were all suppose to be racking up community service hours all this time but i have zero. i havnt done anything. why havnt i done anything? and now that i am trying to do community service through my church they are being stupid and slow and not helpful. HELLO i want to help and you arnt etting me! so anoying.

so basically im stressing a lot over this. stressing isn’t helping.