Forking.

We make decisions every day. Some are small and seemingly insignificant. Like waking up when I’m suppose to or sleeping in when I really shouldn’t. Like cleaning my eternally messy room or going down stairs, leaving the mess behind to play Assassins Creed Brotherhood for the 3rd time. These small decisions won’t effect my life in some huge way. Unless of course I never clean my room and one day a pile of clothes swallows me whole. Or I never get out of bed again, which would lead to a whole slew of problems. But all in all, we make small decisions all the time that don’t really seem to matter. Will I have soy milk in my chai tea or stick with 2%. A tough decision, but not life changing. Every now and then, however, everyone is faced with hard, scary decisions. These decisions are like a fork. Everyone has big, life changing decisions to make at times in their life. These forks don’t come along all the time, and they never look the same. most forks lead to different forks. Some are big, some are small. some have two prongs, others have three or four. The point, you may be begging for is decisions are scary because they never look the same way twice. Each prong must be considered carefully. But in the end, I find I just end up jumping on faith because often the path God is telling me to go on is the opposite prong than where I am comfortable.

My fork.

God is telling me he wants me to be a leader. I know it. I have not tried to pursue it very wholeheartedly. Honestly, I would rather pretend I am not hearing him, and for a while that is exactly what I did. I came to a fork that said I could be a leader, or I could pretend I have no idea what God is talking about and do a mad quiet run the other way. So that is my fork. So I ran, but the mad quiet run is not working especially since hiding from an all knowing God is pretty much impossible. Maybe I need to press the restart button on this fork.

If you have nothing clever to say… Whelp oh well.

My mind honestly feels like jelly. Too much work. Too much school. Not enough of anything else. I am extremely excited that tomorrow is Easter. I love celebrating what Jesus did for me. I love being with my family and friends. I love the FOOD. It might be because I am extremely hungry, but I am craving my moms potato cakes she made this morning. Maybe there are some left? Hummm. Should I go check. No. Too late at night for potato cakes. I am toying around with the idea of just video blogging instead of writing because I am a pro talker with amateur writing skills. I would probably get to say a lot more too. IDK I will see. That’s all for now. I am loosing the battle over the potato cakes.

Falling for Truth

In truth I am not a scientist, doctor, or physicist. I am no theologian, genius, or philosopher. In truth, I will probably never be any of these things, and Truth, I don’t want to anyways.

In truth, I am a student. I am a math nerd. I am knowledgeable in completely useless things, except maybe the math. In truth, I am a shy, anxious girl who is slowly growing out of that. I am a sucker for babies, even when they are screaming bloody murder. I am a full fledged Starbucks addict, although I do not drink coffee.

In truth, when I fall I tend to fall off a cliff that everyone else could see coming, flat on my face, with a sore contentious. In truth, I fall often and have always gotten back up. In truth, It is the falling that forces me to grow. In truth, I would never get anywhere if I never fall.

In truth, I watch people like my mother watches birds. In truth, I dance when no one is around, in front of the mirror, with a hair brush held to my mouth as I scream the lyrics to Taylor Swift songs. In truth, I heart beef jerky. I also heart pepsi. In truth, one of my favorite places exists on the beach, with the waves slapping my legs.

In truth, I have maps in my head. Maps to downtown, maps to the beach, maps to my life, maps to my heart, maps to my home.

In truth, I like details. I like numbers. I like facts. I like being in control. I like knowing how things are going to work out.

In truth, I like people. I like knowing people. I like helping people. And I like comments.

In truth, I fall for truth all the time.

A whole life ago

My last blog entry was posted on March 1st 2009. Over two years ago. I am not sure why I stopped. It might have something to do with me not blogging for me anymore. I was blogging to see how many people were reading. Which is not why I want to write. I want to write for me. Which begs the question… Why not write this privately. Honestly I am still contemplating that question. For now though I will blog and see where it takes me.

I could outline what has happened to me over the past two years but so much has happened that it would take for e ver. So we will just start with this.

I have grown, and changed. For the better I hope. I will simply write that where I am now is exactly where I belong right now. And I am joyful.

I hope to fall in love with writing all over again through this blog.

Lets start a new journey.

Get Abducted.

Invisible Children is hosting an event called The Rescue of Joseph Kony’s Child Soldiers.

Go to http://www.invisiblechildren.com/april2009/index-en.html

Watch the video to learn more about Joseph Kony and his child soldiers.

If you would like to attend this even and you live in Bolivar, MO, I’ll be driving up. You should join.